June 2025 Realmgard Short Scenes: Day 17
Skadi and Captain Goblinbeard sneak into the enemy base.
If you've been following me for any amount of time, you'll probably notice that I really like writing this "two characters try to get into the enemy base" scenes. Just off the top of my head, and in no particular order: here, here, here, and here.
My biggest problem with writing this one was feeling like I'm running out of characters to pair up, especially because pairing up characters who don't have much reason to interact is why this is so fun…
We've met Skadi (who hasn't actually appeared in a full-length story yet), and Captain Goblinbeard, the Goblin pirate who has not long appeared in a full-length story, but serves as the namesake for one. Incidentally, his legal name is indeed 'Goblinbeard, comma, Captain.'
Captain Goblinbeard stand across the street from the old, dilapidated building that they’ve recently discovered is one of the premiere meeting places for the criminal element of Porthaven.
“Yarr,” Captain Goblinbeard declares. “We be needin’ what for to get in that there den o’ thieves, Miss Skadi.”
He thoughtfully chews the end of his pipe.
“We’ve finally chased down the dastards as what stole me Lena’s antique Yamatai doll.”
He looks up — a long way up — at the Hrimfaxi mercenary.
“I be open to ideas,” the Goblin pirate declares.
“Well,” Skadi offers. “I could wear a big hat, you could hide under it and then jump out and surprise them.”
“Keep pitchin’, Miss Skadi,” Captain Goblinbeard mutters.
“A good, old-fashioned frontal charge is always an option,” Skadi insists. “It worked pretty well for the Vikings at Hereward’s Mill, and the Mondberg Hills. And—”
“What about the Swynford Crossing?” Captain Goblinbeard asks suddenly.
Offended on behalf of her ancestors at the mention of one of the greatest Hrimfaxi defeats in Middelmere.
“That was a fluke,” Skadi mutters.
“What about Trabled?”
“The Carogians got lucky…”
She clears her throat and turns back to the task at hand.
“You’re not very big, Captain,” she notes. “I think I could throw you into that attic window, you could sneak down to the door, open it from the inside and let me in.”
“Narr,” Captain Goblinbeard says, shaking his head. “We’ll not be doing that.”
“Come on,” Skadi urges. “It’ll be fun. For me.”
“Yarr. This be on account o’ that Swynford Crossing remark, don’t it?” Captain Goblinbeard sighs.
“Oh, yes,” Skadi says, nodding.
“What if,” Captain Goblinbeard offers. “We were to acquire some cookies, pretend to be sellin’ cookies, and knocked on the door.”
“Isn’t it usually small, cute girls that go around selling cookies? Who’s going to believe us if we do it?” Skadi asks.
“That it is,” Captain Goblinbeard mutters. “Yarr, I’ve half a mind-and-a-half to get the ship and just bombard the devils until they surrender and return Lena’s doll.”
“Sure, but if we blow the building to bits, doesn’t that risk also blowing the doll we want back to bits?”
“We’ll just bombard them a little…”
They fall into silence and stare thoughtfully at the run-down building as a procession of thieves sneak in and out.
“I have an idea!” Skadi declares.
“I be all ears,” Mrs. Skadi.
“Let’s get lunch.”
“I fail to see how that gets in there,” Captain Goblinbeard notes with a frown.
“Food will help us think,” the Hrimfaxi mercenary says.
“Yarr, I suppose that it will. Though, ye’ll be paying, Miss Skadi.”
“I think we should reconsider the throwing-you-through-the-window plan,” Skadi offers.
Captain Goblinbeard gives her an unamused look.
“Don’t worry, I’m sure we’ll think of something,” Skadi assures the Goblin pirate.
And a little later, Captain Goblinbeard and Skadi have. in fact, thought of something.
“Yarr,” Captain Goblinbeard mutters from under the tall, ornate hat Skadi has donned. “I can’t believe this be the best idea we had.”
Ahem.
I've mentioned before that Hrimfaxi is Realmgard-Scandinavia and most of the battles Skadi is mentioning here are based on real-world battles involving Vikings: Hereward's Mill is generically the Viking Invasion (s) of England, Mondberg Hills is a roundabout reference to Lüneberg Heath — lune is French for moon, Mond is German for Moon, Swynford Crossing is Stamford Bridge, and as previously established in a previous scene — Trabled is Clontarf. Incidentally, as established in a different previous scene, Trabled is a bit of sore spot for Skadi…
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