June 2025 Realmgard Short Scenes: June 28
Behold! Tenebella's lore!
I think we've met Tenebella enough over this past month that I don't really need to explain any more about here, but her father's whole deal is that he's a Dark Lord-type on the surface level, but is more intimidating and stern-but-fair, rather than actually evil – so, basically the standard Fantasy Sorcerer-King, but actually interested in being an effective ruler instead of just being evil for no reason.
“Greetings, my dear friend Annie,” Tenebella says as she begins her meeting with the assembled faculties of the University of Porthaven.
“Hi, Tenebella,” Annie says, waving back.
Tenebella clears her throat and prepares to begin.
“Behold,” she declares, ushering the Four Horsemen of Castle Ansangaar into the room, “my lore!”
The five of the Four Horsemen stream into the room: Captain Ratsumies, Secutor. Dimachaerus, Ralph, and the female, Gwaedbran – who objects to being classified as a Horseman. In each of their arms is a stack of ancient books.
Annie’s eyes go wide as she watches the procession. Although Annie isn’t actually a member of the University’s faculty, since her father is, the rest of the University has had plenty of time to recognise the fact that, despite being all of 10 years old, Annie is one of the most well-read people in the University community.
Books! Annie exclaims inwardly. Books! Books! Books!
“Indeed,” Tenebella says proudly. “As this continent’s foremost collector of the strange and ancient, my library is vast and impressive, including but not limited to: the oldest extant copy of the great sage Brorvonius’ study on the use of fire magic – the original having ironically been lost in a fire, a true and accurate account of the writing and publication of Luca Pertico’s True and Accurate Account of the East, a cookbook penned by Emperor Theobald’s personal chef Sandovech, the Book of Unutterable Utterances. And, my personal favourite, the beloved children’s classic Your Hat is Lovely, Miss Bunny Rabbit.”
As Annie stands up on her chair in excitement, the assembled faculty of the University of Porthaven murmur in amazement. The esteemed Sir Chiswick von Strontlebottom, the leader of the University’s delegation, thoughtfully worries the ends of his impressive moustache.
“Yes,” Tenebella says with a satisfied nod. “Impressive, is it not? Thus, I am pleased to announce that my sovereign and mighty father, Rhadamanthus the Grim, lord-ruler of Castle Ansangaar, imperator of the Ansangaarian hordes – whose mask is obsidian, whose crown is iron, whose sceptre is gold, whose will is law and whose law is adamant, and whose throne is upholstered in a rich and supple Archipelagian leather – magnanimously and generously loans these priceless tomes to the University of Porthaven as a sign of his friendship and affection for the good people of Porthaven.”
The heads of the faculties exchange a few more mutters.
“My father’s only request is that I be given consideration for a position in the University’s libraries,” Tenebella continues. “However, he insists that I must submit a proper and correct application to the position as any other individual is expected to.”
She slides several papers across the table.
“Here you will find my resume and cover letter, as well as my references,” Tenebella explains.
“As one with the privilege to serve as one of m’lady’s reference,” Captain Ratsumies says, “I sweat on my honour that m’ladies conduct and comportment is unimpeachable in all regards!”
“Thank you, Captain,” Tenebella mutters.
She turns back to the faculty heads.
“Are there any questions?”
Annie’s hand shoots up into the air.
“Will you be my big sister?”
“Greetings, my dear friend Annie,” Tenebella says as she begins her meeting with the assembled faculties of the University of Porthaven.
“Hi, Tenebella,” Annie says, waving back.
Tenebella clears her throat and prepares to begin.
“Behold,” she declares, ushering the Four Horsemen of Castle Ansangaar into the room, “my lore!”
The five of the Four Horsemen stream into the room: Captain Ratsumies, Secutor. Dimachaerus, Ralph, and the female, Gwaedbran – who objects to being classified as a Horseman. In each of their arms is a stack of ancient books.
Annie’s eyes go wide as she watches the procession. Although Annie isn’t actually a member of the University’s faculty, since her father is, the rest of the University has had plenty of time to recognise the fact that, despite being all of 10 years old, Annie is one of the most well-read people in the University community.
Books! Annie exclaims inwardly. Books! Books! Books!
“Indeed,” Tenebella says proudly. “As this continent’s foremost collector of the strange and ancient, my library is vast and impressive, including but not limited to: the oldest extant copy of the great sage Brorvonius’ study on the use of fire magic – the original having ironically been lost in a fire, a true and accurate account of the writing and publication of Luca Pertico’s True and Accurate Account of the East, a cookbook penned by Emperor Theobald’s personal chef Sandovech, the Book of Unutterable Utterances. And, my personal favourite, the beloved children’s classic Your Hat is Lovely, Miss Bunny Rabbit.”
As Annie stands up on her chair in excitement, the assembled faculty of the University of Porthaven murmur in amazement. The esteemed Sir Chiswick von Strontlebottom, the leader of the University’s delegation, thoughtfully worries the ends of his impressive moustache.
“Yes,” Tenebella says with a satisfied nod. “Impressive, is it not? Thus, I am pleased to announce that my sovereign and mighty father, Rhadamanthus the Grim, lord-ruler of Castle Ansangaar, imperator of the Ansangaarian hordes – whose mask is obsidian, whose crown is iron, whose sceptre is gold, whose will is law and whose law is adamant, and whose throne is upholstered in a rich and supple Archipelagian leather – magnanimously and generously loans these priceless tomes to the University of Porthaven as a sign of his friendship and affection for the good people of Porthaven.”
The heads of the faculties exchange a few more mutters.
“My father’s only request is that I be given consideration for a position in the University’s libraries,” Tenebella continues. “However, he insists that I must submit a proper and correct application to the position as any other individual is expected to.”
She slides several papers across the table.
“Here you will find my resume and cover letter, as well as my references,” Tenebella explains.
“As one with the privilege to serve as one of m’lady’s reference,” Captain Ratsumies says, “I sweat on my honour that m’ladies conduct and comportment is unimpeachable in all regards!”
“Thank you, Captain,” Tenebella mutters.
She turns back to the faculty heads.
“Are there any questions?”
Annie’s hand shoots up into the air.
“Will you be my big sister?”
There are a few off-handed references to parts of Realmgard's history that I've previously established; Brorvonius is the greatest wizard in Realmgard's history, Luca Pertico is Realmgard's Marco Polo, Sandovech is the guy who invented sandwiches…
Also, the fact that Rhadamanthus' throne is upholstered with Archipelagian leather is 1) funny and 2) a reference to an old Chrysler commercial from the 70s and 80s where Ricardo Montalbán (probably best known today as Star Treks's Khan)talked up the luxurious interior of the Cordoba, featuring something called Corinthian leather, which was primarily just a marketing term…
Of course, the key to understanding that reference is the fact that Archipelago is Realmgard-Greece, which is where Corinth is in real life.
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